Walmart sucks

A 30 year old man got trampled to death at a New York Walmart after crowds tore the door down and ran over him. Walmart is a shitty employer. They pay low wages and work your ass and are anti-union in an intimidating and aggressive way. They did not have the nessecary precautions in place. There was not enough security and not enough procedures in place to prevent this from happening. Walmart can not say there was because someone died.
Walmart is forcing small town businesses to go under and replacing their products with cheap imported crap from Asia. Walmart and similar corporations are undermining the Americanism of America. They hire immigrants and pay them next to nothing. They replace American products with cheap foriegn crap. Walmart is contributing to the decadence of society and unfortunately, as long as some people way up top are seeing a profit it doesn't matter if people are dying.

Coming up next..... why people suck

Someone explain this

So.... Two border patrol agents open fire on a smuggler carrying 800 pounds of weed and get sentenced to 12 years in prison. They didn't kill him, they just shot him in the ass and as a result are getting beat up in prison after years of dedicated service to this country.

Now two ass clowns who held a woman prisoner for three years and forced her to have sex with people, tortured her to break her will and told her they were going to kill her family were only sentenced to 6 months in prison.

Someone explain to me how these punishments fit the crime.

The Joke of the Year

So the republicans continue to deteriorate. Sarah Palin's egregious appearance on SNL was a joke and shows how little she is concerned or even understands the current situation. The lady is a vice presidential candidate of the most powerful country in the world during a very precarious era and she's on SNL 'raising the roof?'. It wasn't funny, and it wasn't cute.
I honestly think she doesn't grasp that she was being made fun of. What went through her little narcisstic mind was 'oh my god I get to be on TV'. And off she went to raise the roof. She got a nice little wardrobe upgrade and even Mccain's advisors are calling her a rogue. So she's buying 35000 dollars worth of clothes and fltting around the country dancing on TV. And she can't even get along with her own party.
This is exactly what America doesn't need. Some airheaded bimbo who is taking the spotlight and running with it for her own histrionic needs. Instead of addressing issues and campaigning shes dancing around on SNL!
She praises her daughters 'choice' to keep her child, yet is against abortion. And by the way did her conservative, down-home hockey mom morals crawl into the backseat of that teenagers car the night her daughter got knocked up or is there a better excuse? Her daughter has the same center of attention issue her mom does. She just had to go and sleep with the captain of the hockey team just because he was captain of the hockey team. I've worked with some waitress who have had that mentality. It's fustrating because once they do bang the boss they think they're all that, but in reality they're probably the stupidest people.
Oh how to deflate a false and inflated sense of superiority. Vote for Obama?

The Problem with Palin

OK. Out of all of the candidates Sarah Palin is the worst. First of all, who the hell names their kids 'Trig' and 'Track'. And she isn't consistent. While serving office in that little hick town called Wasillia she contradicted her religion by opposing a measure to reduce the operation hours of local bars. Didn't the last presidential campaign contain a lot of accusations of flip-flopping? Either you have your beliefs, or you're a pawn of influence.
Ironically, she was accused of letting her religion influence her decisions. Sort of like W when he said God told him to invade Iraq. Thats what we need in office... religous proselytising. What's disturbing about this is the whole problem with Palin was she asked the head librarian how she would react if Palin told her to get rid of some 'inappropriate' books. Who is she to decide whats appropriate and whats not.? Literature is a integral component of civilized society. And when you have leaders who take it upon themselves to decide what people can and can't read is a dangerous trespass upon personal freedom.
She also removed many of the city officials whom she suspected of not supporting her. This reminds me of Stalin's purges. Police chiefs should remain objective, supporting the laws of elected policy makers rather than the whim of a newly appointed mayor.
Then there was troopergate. She fired the public safety administrator because he would not fire a trooper who divorced her sister. This was subsequently investigated. Palin and her husband and some of their cronies refused to respond to subpeonas. Her husband, who is not an elected official, used the government offices to try and get the trooper fired. If it was not a personal agenda, why the hell did he get involved? An investigation did indeed declare that the firing was a personal agenda, to which Palins legal crew said that it couldn't be because she gained no financial benefit from it. So you have to make money in order for it to be unethical?
So we have a woman from Alaska, who has been embroiled in scandal since before her nomination. Why is it the McCain campaign keeps her in hiding? All of her interviews and press time are prescheduled. She really screwed up the Couric interview. Members of her own party are calling for her to be removed from the ballot. And does the all American mom have a good excuse why her teenage daughter got knocked up? Why is she lying about stopping the Bridge to Nowhere when she was an initial supporter?
America doesn't need any more intrigue and scandal. She has a history of overstepping her boundaries. W also overstepped his boundaries and look where that landed us. The republicans are turning into a joke. Let's get some change yeah?

Plus, Palin's husband just LOOKS like a complete douchebag

OBAMA!

I get a lot of confused messages these days because I have decided to vote for Obama. "But your facebook says you're conservative!" reads a typical one. Yes, I am socially conservative. I try not to swear in front of kids, I don't believe in abortion as a cheap fix and I sure as hell don't think same sex couples should get married.
But social demeanor is only a speck of dust in the quagmire of todays politics. As America we are in a lot more trouble than one might think. We are in the same position as the British were in at the start if 1946. World opinion is against us, our military is stretched to the breaking point, our economy is a joke and we're about to get kicked out of a lot of places.
There needs to be a drastic change in American foreign policy or else Russia and China are going to knock us off of the world pedestal. Can't forget about Pakistan, who ousted the pro American Musharraf. And the Paki's have nuclear weapons.
This is why Obama would be a better president. McCain only studied at military schools, and has that hell-bent-for-leather offensive attitude that would absolutely destroy our military superiority. If unorganized and untrained militias in Iraq can hold us up with improvised bombs and sniper fire, Iran's standing army is going to give us a little more trouble.
Mccain, in the first debate, used excessively flowery language trying to play off of our patriotism. Obama used down to earth language in outlining our problems. So we have one candidate who recognizes the problem and is willing to fix and another candidate who refuses to admit we have a problem. Like a drug addict, you have to beat the denial stage in order to get better.
We need to stop worrying about world issues and focus on home. Our infrastructure is crumbling. Bridges are collapsing. Banks are going under. There is an Aids epidemic. And we have a bunch of god damned divisions over in Iraq and Afghanistan costing us millions of dollars a day. There are people there who shoot at us. I think that means we don't need to be there. America's sovereignty isn't at stake. It will be, however, when China's military finds a way around our technology like they did when they surfaced a submarine in an aircraft carrier task force.
All parties involved have been taking cheap shots at Obama. They called him out for wearing a Muslim tribal dress. That was an egregious resurrection of McCarthy-style panic-mongering. I think it's great he learned about his heritage. All the political analysts held their breath when McCain referred to Obama as 'you guys'. Michelle Obama later told Larry King they were not offended in any way. That goes to show the maturity of Obama in recognizing that leadership rises above the trivial and ambiguous mudslinging comments. If he wanted to, he could have thrown the race card out there. But he isn't desperate like McCain, in face he's very confident and laid back. And that is why he's going to make a great president.

Bitch Bitch Bitch

Anyone who has asked me how much I like Arizona has received a torrent of negative and sometimes downright vulgar responses. I hate the desert. I hate the heat. I hate the eternal blazing sun. At least Michigan has rain, seasons and the occasional half ass tornado. Weather has always been part of the most trivial of conversations and as a result is more likely to be bitched about.
What I never got around to considering, however, is when it comes to the Sonoran desert there are people out there who have had to endure worse conditions. One of these people is very close to me and is suffering a rare form of cancer facilitated by exposure to the sun. This individual is none less than my hero, my grandpa.
From June 1940 to May 1943 my granddad was busy smacking the piss out of the Italians and Germans along with the rest of the British 8th army. In the Sahara desert. During this time he managed to be present at most of the major battles and was detached in 1941 to Iraq to put down a rebellion and then Iran. In his words 'The Iranian government made all sorts of threats to join the axis, so we went there to convince them otherwise'
I could go on about his military exploits but that isn't the point here. When I asked him about the war when I was in high school, he looked at me and said 'there are other subjects out there other than war'. So after the nightmare of world war two he led a quiet modest life and retired to northern Michigan to live out his years. What i did not know is that he has struggled with skin cancer as a result of traipsing around the most inhospitable desert on the planet.
His doctors have since discovered his cancer is a rare one called Merkel. It starts with the skin but then attacks all the other organs. I often think of him, quietly sitting in his house-his wife has since passed away, a remarkable woman herself- enduring his illness with dignity and waiting for the end to come.
So here I have been sitting in air conditioning complaining about the desert like it's killing me. And yet the desert did catch up to him. And I have never heard him complain.
I'm going to start forgiving and forgetting the little inconvenient minutiae that seem to plague everyday life. There are worse examples of inconvenience everywhere but people often don't take the time from their own selfish pity to realize that there are always people who are worse off than you. So try not to bitch too much.

Rich People Suck

There's no denying that the integrity of modern Americans is compromised by avarice. Money and material goods, not character and integrity, dictate the motives of most peoples lives. The upper classes are the most affected. Every day I experience something that indicates the deterioration of our society.
When I was working at the Sports Den, a 30 something yuppie came in with an underage proto-Paris in tow. When I asked for ID, they both became upset and the guy pointed his finger in my face and said 'You just lost a lot of MONEY!' Keep in mind I had only asked for ID. The emphasis this moron placed on the word 'money' shows that he thinks because he has money, he should have privileges afforded to him that would legally jeopardize me , the business and possibly themselves. But what do all these other people matter to him? He has money. However, his money did not have the magical capability to stop me from swatting his finger out of my face and then pushing him.
This aggressive obsession with money is not generated by thriftiness; countless times I observed a frat boy come roaring into the parking lot with an H2 (complete with rims, a booming stereo system and a vanity plate) come up to the door with his Lacoste shirt and Rolex, then proceed to throw a tantrum over the three dollar cover that was required to partake in half off night. I never encountered someone in a beat up car reach that level of agitation; They would cordially say 'three dollars? for half off? no problem!' and then go on to enjoy their night.
At Best Buy, a black gentlemen came in dressed in fairly ragged clothing ask said 'good morning!' in a New Orleans drawl. He then proceeded to ask me if we had a CD in stock. We did not. He thanked me, shook my hand and promised to come back next week. A few days later, a suit came in on his blackberry, sneered at me when I greeted him and went into the store. He came back and informed me that he did not have the time to screw around with salesmen. He asked if we had a certain model GPS, I said we did not, could we order it? He in turn thunders that he will spend his MONEY elsewhere.
These few examples are a microcosm of what I've experienced in the customer service industry. I can only draw the conclusion that while many people would look down on a shabbily dressed black man that he had more consideration and morals than a clean cut suit. Money gives most people who have it a perception of moral superiority that doesn't really exist over those who don't money. Unfortunately as all the wall street panic recently shows, we live in a material driven existence and as far as I am concerned it is only going to get worst.

Delayed reaction

Sleepless nights lead to random digression... at work a while ago, this burly marine came in and said 'Yeah is Ruben from the car stereos here?' I said 'that no, he was not. The marine in turn said 'Well that fucking moron blew my tweeter and now he won't return my calls.'
For those of you who are not technically savvy, like those of us at Best Buy who work in Loss prevention for a reason, a tweeter is part of a speaker that deals solely with higher end frequencies... the opposite of a subwoofer if you will. If a tweeter is blown, it'll probably sound like someone turned the treble all the way down.
The whole damn point of this note is that some marine came in cussing up a storm and said that some guy blew his tweeter and now he wouldn't call him. I missed a golden opportunity.

WTF- The internet is ruining the English language

I was at Walmart yesterday, and though Walmart isn't really known for its high volume of proper English speakers, I observed very disturbing evidence that the English language is at risk of becoming more like Spanglish or Ebonics.
So this girl, whom I estimate to be about thirteen or so, was arguing with her mother over something and said 'WTF'.
Now English was at one point German before the infusion of Celtic and Gallic languages. Anyone who is not a native English speaker will probably tell you that it is the hardest language to learn. And here we have people lacking the want to sound intelligent, or just lazy, using internet acronyms to replace everyday speech.
Having spent most of my high school years in a trailer park, I am a first hand witness to the devolution of English. I often fought the urge to correct people thirty years my superior as they made statements such as 'Come gitcher dog'. While this is atrocious, it is slightly excused by the fact that most trailer park denizens never finished the seventh grade. Unfortunately, the trailer class (not to be confused with the more prestigious lower class) is expanding and future generations will speak more like this.
But I believe telecommunications companies are to blame for what would otherwise be grammatically correct children. I, for example, can not text. When I try, a weird combination of letters come up such as lkswtry and mnhgity and when I try to pronounce these I get rushed off to a monastery for exorcism.
Now to make it easier, as well as on the internet, people have put everything into acronyms. And these acronyms have found a way into real life speech.
So, FCS, try and remember how to talk unless you want English to eventually morph in a bastard language like Cajun or Yiddish, Lol.

Insomnia at its finest

I've always been amazed and disgusted at how ignorant people are. Yesterday at work my co-workers were chattering on about how Paris Hilton 'punked' John McCain. I have heard of this video, however I refuse to waste the time to see it. Although it was only a small incident, the entrance of one of the worlds stupidest party slut into the politics is disturbing to me.
'Yeah" said one of my coworkers "But John McCain shouldn't have talked smack." John McCain was a POW and has the Silver Star, purple heart and several other commendations for valor. Paris Hilton's claim to fame is a TV show in which they make a mockery of the middle class and a video in which she traipses around breaking shit while she's drunk and screwing some guy.

'So what about Russia?' Asks another "Think we're going to war?"
"Oh my God! Is there going to be a draft? I'm going to Canada" says yet another. The fact that I did not leap over my desk, grab him by his throat and bash his head in is a miracle. It should be noted that this individual is homosexual and has an incredibly, god awful 'gay accent'.
Instead of reacting with a spate of primal violence, I suggested that he not borrow any student loans. And move somewhere where his orientation isn't tolerated. "Besides' I said "I don't think you have to worry about being drafted."
"OK that was a direct insult, and I will be reporting it." So he goes off to the office and talks to the manager who calls me into his office and warns me to be a little more careful. Then.... the jackass who made such a big deal about how I insulted him.... asked me for a ride home. What will today at work bring me???
And no, I told that scrub to walk.

The nerve...

Spain is known for its beautiful Moorish castles, the Pyrenees, probably some of the hottest women on Earth as well as Basque terrorists and this complete douchebag: Tomas Delgado.

So 17 year old Enaitz Iriondo was bicyling down the road to where his family was camping. Mr. Delgado, flying by with his Audi A8, hits and drags young Enaitz 100 yards, killing him.
It was a mistake, neither side was found at fault. I, personally, would feel guilty for the rest of my life. Dickweed Delgado, on the other hand, turns around and sues the teens family for 30,000 dollars, claiming damage to his car!!

The charges were dropped after massive national outrage.

How could someone do that?

He said it!

President Bush looked right into the camera and said '20,000 Us troops are coming home this year'.

Oh, wait, the whole credibility thing. We'll see I guess

The underrated fighting abilities of Koalas

A while ago, amidst heavy drinking and the use of... other intoxicants, a wise man named Colin asked the group "Who would win in a fight between a Koala and a panda" and everyone agreed instantaneously that Pandas would because they're much bigger.
'But no' Colin said 'Koalas live in trees. Whats stopping them from ambushing the slower moving Panda by leaping on them from a tree and blinding them with those distinctive Koala claws?'

After a good laugh, we moved on to other subjects and that particular exchange was lost in time.

Until now. I got out of bed to write this because I can't stop laughing.

'You freak!' People are thinking. 'Haven't you anything better to write about? What the hell is wrong with you? Already get a hold of some of that peyote?'

Think what you want. Look at this picture and tell me this entry isn't funny

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Koala_climbing_tree.jpg

America through the eyes of a low level retail employee.

I enjoy my job at Best Buy. I deal with all sorts of people, and once in a while I even get the thrill of catching someone stealing or doing other malevolent acts which require me to deal with them.
But a lot of the time, people are unfriendly.
I work right inside the front door as loss prevention. I prevent, among other things, loss. I stare at a camera all day and try to catch little bastards stealing. I've caught quite a few in the act, someone times even preempting them and kicking them out before they can say 'I need discipline sir!'.
Down here in Yuma there is nothing for these kids to do. Girls get pregnant in their teens, and boys go to jail for shoplifting, grand theft auto and gang related activity. We have a list of over 30 people who are banned from the mall here, and only one of them is over the age of 18.
Last week I caught some guy in his 20's stealing a cd. It was in the middle of the afternoon and he was standing right under the camera tearing the wrapper off in the open. We apprehended him. Turns out he was illegal. On his way out in handcuffs he looked at me with a grin that said 'i may be deported today, I will be back in a week.' Sadly, this is probably true. Not a day goes by I see people on their way back to Mexico, unwillingly.
Also last week I watched a 10 year old tear open a dvd, Girl Next Door. Something spooked him and he put the dvd down and peaced. I found him, and asked me to take him to his parents. He found his dad. I explained to the dad he was trying to steal and that he needed to leave. We had it on camera and several employees witnessed it. An hour later his dad came back, demanding to see the tape. I showed it to him. He said to me 'my son is not stealing', while in fact on the tape he was. Blatantly and obviously. He ends up going to the aisle his bastard kid was stealing in, and starts dropping dvds on the floor looking for the one. I tell him to get lost amid his shouts that his kids was not stealing. Make more excuses for the little bastard why don't you.
There are also a lot of old people down here, snow birds we call them. They swarm the area in winter, escaping the icy grasp of the northern regions. They flock to Best Buy every day in massive droves. A lot of them are nice and patient and are willing to listen to you and learn how what they bought works.
A lot of them are from different countries. I've had to speak German to people who don't speak very good English, which is fun because I never thought I'd use German outside of high school. They also come from Britain, Canada, Holland, Australia and Japan.
Some old people though, are plain morons. They come in, scream at me, go scream at someone else and on the way out scream some more. I would like to one of these days inform them that I have several years ahead of me, while they will probably die in the next few months. I have had products thrown at me, sworn at in several different languages and threatened over sale prices or the lack thereof. I work security, I say, I have no idea how the sales floor works. This does not placate them. How I would love to snap their necks...
We do not have the Wii. No one does, and there is nothing I can do. I had one old lady tell me that I should 'burn in hell for ruining her kids Christmas.' It should be noted that this was preceded by 'Have a great holiday! Thanks for coming to Best Buy!'
Then there are the Mexicans who come in and speak Spanish to me like I understand it. I do not, and am currently learning. Even after I say 'no comprende, no habla espanol' they continue to talk and sometimes yell in this strange language at which I smile and think to myself 'I have a social security number, and you do not.'
The one thing that sticks in my mind is the old guy who tried to return his TV. We could not because we didn't sell that brand, and never have. He yelled, called names and, hiliariously, sat on the ground and refused to move, even upon the threat of having security. He called me 'little boy' among other things, to which I replied 'Sir, when I was four years old I too threw fits when I didn't get what I wanted.'
So, I could go on and on about the things i see and deal with everyday, but I might need it for when I have no content for a blog somewhere on down the road. All I say to all of you impatient and volatile shoppers: Fine. Go to Circuit City.

How I got banned from the car dealership

I've always been aware of the stereotypical car dealer, usually portrayed by fictionalized media as sharkish characters with a standout gold tooth which goes 'ding' at the moment of swindle.
Like most cartoons, I grew out of believing them, but now I'm not sure what to believe, because I have been played by a car salesmen.
So I move to Arizona, and the first thing I find out is that everything is far away from each other and the public transportation is reminiscent of a third world country; extremely unreliable, unsafe, and no one else speaks English. So my wife and I set out to buy a car.
We decided on a 2003 Saturn L series, a great car. We were quoted a down payment and monthly payments. We agreed. He returns, saying he was going to have to raise our monthly payments a few dollars. No problem, we said.
After WE SIGNED THE CONTRACT. He calls several days later stating they have to raise my monthly payment more.
To make matters worse we have still not received our license plate. A month after we bought the car, we got a letter in the mail saying that before we get our plates, we have to have the vin number inspected. So great, not only do they keep changing the contract on us, they're not even sure that the car they sold us is legit. It came from out of state, they said, and we have to inspect it. Well, don't you think you should have done that before you sold us the fucking car?
So I get up at 7 am, a time which to me does not exist, and like every other time I have to wake up before 1 in the afternoon I am surly and pugnacious. I drive down there where some Mexican bimbo who has trouble with English inspects my vehicle and informs me my paper license has expired, and would I like a new one.
'Yes, I am aware the temp is expired, I should have gotten my plates three weeks ago' I said, still at this point civil.
'Well, we can't do anything after 45 days, homes.' no, the homes part was not actually said in real life.
'Take another look, cause I ain't even been down here for 45 days' There I go, reverting into the stereotypical American redneck.
'Well, we can't give you a plate until 2 this afternoon. Come back then'
'I really don't want a ticket, explain to me again why I haven't gotten my plates yet?'
'Well, don't speed and you won't get a ticket'
'WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!! I COME HERE, BUY A CAR FROM YOU GUYS AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ME MY FUCKING PLATES THAT I PAID FOR THEN YOU TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE WHEN I ASK WHY' When I get this mad I forget everything after 10 seconds, except for that I yelled and probably hurled a few derogatory comments around before storming out.
All they had to say??? 'Since the car is in your wifes name we ask that she conducts all further business with us and that we don't see you here again.'
To which I replied 'No habla Ingles'

Why the hawks in congress need to back the fuck off

I've always had a very good talent of being able to notice similarities and draw parallels between things that happen now and things that happened in the past.
So Iran made a threatening maneuver in the strait of Hormuz this past week against US warships. This particular strait is exceptionally strategic; whoever controls it controls the vast majority of oil supplies in the world. Should Iran or anyone else seize control of it, theres a world of economic hurt for the west in store.
This is the second time Iran has toyed with coalition naval forces, the first was a British contingent being seized in contested waters in March. (Which was a serious blow to morale for a navy with outstanding traditions and history such as Britain's, considering the Iranians really made them look stupid)
Now the parallel I'm seeing dates back to Vietnam (this whole war reminds me of Vietnam, but I'm not getting into that right now) .
These nations, which can't match the technological superiority of the US, regularly employ brinkmanship tactics to elicit an response that will make the US look bad (hence our very strict rules of engagement). However, this tactic is not limited to unfriendly nations; Israel punked the British with the Exodus incident in 1948.
The British being seized slightly brings the Pueblo incident to mind. But forunately, the Iranians aren't as dickhead-ish as the North Koreans and the situation was resolved somewhat humanely, excepting the fact that Tehran broke the Geneva convention by parading the captives on TV.
Now this other thing with the US Navy is a little more scary, 5 Iranian vessels rushed 3 of our warships, radioing that they're going to blow us up. Our gunnery was trained and in the firing process when the vessels veered away, dropping boxes in the path of our task force causing them to take evasive action.
Tehran must be damn comfortable with our rules of engagement to pull a stunt like that off. They're obviously trying to provoke further hostility and make it look like we are the aggressor. It's not the wisest idea in the world to threaten a US warship.
Now this reminds me of the Gulf of Tonkin incident which preluded major escalation in the Vietnam conflict. Vietnamese torpedo boats supposedly attacked an intelligence gathering destroyer. The Gulf of Tonkin resolution was then passed giving president Johnson the green light to use military force in Vietnam without a declaration of war.
Evidence has since come to light that the attack may not have happened, or happened under very different circumstances and that the intelligence was faulty. Now that has a ring to it doesn't it?
But the major, and scary difference is that Tehran openly admitted to this, while Vietnam denied it. But still, faulty intelligence and shadowy skirmishes and an underlying political motive led to the senseless Vietnam war, as well as the war in Iraq. Is Washington really trying to call Iran out right now? History does repeat itself.
So we have China developing technology that can bring our hugely advantageous satellites down, and they managed to surface a submarine in the middle of the Kitty Hawk carrier group. Which makes me ask how the hell did the Iranians get close enough to us to let this happen?
And let's pray, that China isn't close to finding a way to defeat our carriers and the vital air power they provide.
So instead of worrying about who we need to police, maybe we need to get out of where we don't belong, really reassess our situation and rebuild our military before we really get into trouble. Because we are really fucking up.

In sickness and in health... sometimes.

Recently, I have entered into holy matrimony. This is a very profound change for me, as I was deemed 'undomesticable'(yes I know its not a word) years ago by my mother. My new spouse has quite the challenge ahead of her.
She still hasn't acquiesced to my drinking, in fact, I don't think she ever will. I know this to be a fact because a few evenings ago, I went out to have 'one or two beers', and I was to be home 'in an hour or so' and 'not spend more than 10 dollars'.
I woke up the next morning in the recliner in the living room, with several empty tall boys scattered about, a black eye, Dishwalla set on reset on Itunes and my wife shaking me violently advising me that if I did not immediately get up, I would be late to work.
'To hell with work' I said 'Help me think of an excuse to get out of it.'
'Get your ass up and get dressed' She snarled, throwing my work clothes at me. 'If you want to go spend money drinking, you have to go make it. And give me my debit card back'
'In sickness and in health!' I protested.
'Hangovers don't count buster, and since I don't know WHY you got your ass kicked I'm inclined to think you brought it upon yourself as usual' She replied..... so calm and matter of fact it was eerie.
Three hours later at work, when I finally declared myself clean and sober, I philosophically asked myself if this was my catharsis. Are the days of passing out at 9 in the morning just to start drinking at noon over?
I decided to wait for another sign before I came to the conclusion that 'fun' was over and 'marriage' was just beginning.
I got it later that day when I came home from work. I came in, sat down and started playing World of Warcraft.
'I'm going to the store' She said. 'Please do the dishes'
'I can't, I have to go fight 'primitive owlbeasts' in the Hinterlands' I protested.
'The little owl-things can wait. It'll only take a few minutes then you can play your little game'.
Well, I considered my priorities and reorganized them as best as they suited me.
'Why aren't the dishes done?!'
And before I could answer, the usb cable was torn from my computer and I stared at a screen that said 'disconnected'.
Looks like I lost the battle of wills.